IS YOUR CHILD CAUGHT IN THE: “WHAT THEY HAVE” CYCLE?
If you’re a parent in Gurgaon, you’ve likely witnessed it: the subtle shift in your child’s demeanor after a play-date, a birthday party, or a day at school.
“WHY DON’T I HAVE THAT REMOTE-CONTROLLED SPORTS CAR, MOM?”
“RIYA’S SHOES HAVE A LIGHT-UP LOGO; MINE ARE BORING? “
“ REHAN COMES TO SCHOOL IN A BMW, WHY DO WE HAVE A MARUTI BREZZA ?“
“EVERYONE IN OUR BUILDING GOES ON FOREIGN HOLIDAYS, BUT WE JUST WENT TO HIMACHAL?”
In an environment where expensive brands, luxury cars, and frequent international travel are often visible, and gloated on by some… it’s completely natural for younger children to start noticing and, more damagingly – comparing.
This isn’t just harmless observation; when left unaddressed, this “comparison trap” can quietly erode a child’s self-esteem and lead to an unhealthy aspiration for needless material things.
the good news?
As a parent, you have the power to equip them with the resilience and self-worth they need to look past these superficial symbols.
5 PRACTICAL STRATEGIES TO SHIFT THE FOCUS FROM “THINGS” TO “VALUE”
1. THE POWER OF THE “GRATITUDE LENS”
Comparison thrives on a sense of lack.
You can counteract this by actively cultivating gratitude.
The Evening Ritual: Instead of asking, “What did you do today?”, try asking: “What are three things you are grateful for today?” (It could be a sunny day, a good meal, or a kind word from a friend.)
Acknowledge Effort, Not Objects: When your child mentions a friend’s new toy or device, acknowledge it briefly (“That sounds like a fun toy!”) and immediately shift the focus to a positive value in your own home: “But I love how we spent this afternoon building that awesome fort together! You are so creative.”
2. REDEFINE “WEALTH” AND “STATUS”
Children often equate expensive things with being “better” or “more successful.” It’s your job to introduce a new vocabulary.
The Family Conversation: Use real-life examples to show that true wealth lies in things money can’t buy.
“That car is nice, but our car is an Indian car helps us spend time together as a family and drive safely.”
“A branded jacket is great, but the jacket Dadi knitted for you is very special because it was made with love.”
“Riya’s family went to Singapore, but we had such a great time volunteering at the animal shelter. Kindness is a bigger achievement than a plane ticket.”
3. FOCUS ON COMPETENCE OVER CONSUMPTION
Building self-esteem is about knowing your own abilities, not owning certain objects. When a child feels capable and competent, they rely less on external validation from possessions.
Give Them Meaningful Chores: Even young children can help. Cleaning their room, watering the plants, or helping set the dinner table gives them a sense of responsibility and achievement.
Encourage Skill Building: Is your child interested in drawing, cycling, coding, or learning to cook? Invest time and energy into these skills. When they see their own progress—”I learned to ride my bike without training wheels!”—it becomes a powerful, internal source of pride that far outweighs a new pair of sneakers.
4. SET SMART BOUNDARIES ON EXPOSURE
You can’t control what others wear or drive, but you can control your family’s media consumption and shopping habits.
Shopping with Intention: Before going to the mall, state clearly: “We are going to buy one pair of shoes, and they need to be durable, comfortable, and within our budget. We are not looking at toys today.” Stick to it.
Screen Time Check: Many expensive aspirations are born on YouTube (toy review channels) or social media. Monitor and limit exposure to content that solely promotes consumption and luxury. Leverage social media programs that reinforce meaning & values instead – one good way is to watch such programs with them & discuss the same.
5. VALIDATE THE FEELING, THEN RE-ROUTE THE THOUGHT
When your child expresses a desire or feeling of inadequacy, don’t dismiss it with an immediate “We can’t afford that.”
Validate: “I know, beta. It must feel a little disappointing when all your friends have the new gadget and you don’t. It’s okay to feel that way.”
Re-Route: “But let’s think about this: What is the most fun thing you can do right now with the toys we already have? Maybe we can build a super-race track with your blocks instead!”
THE GURGAON PARENT ADVANTAGE
Living in a dynamic city like Gurgaon means your child has access to incredible opportunities, relatively – with people from diverse backgrounds, and near world-class activities & environs.
Use this environment not just for material gain, but for experiential wealth.
Take them to visit museums in Delhi-NCR (there are quite a few – and it can be fun) , volunteer for a cause, explore the city’s green spaces, play at your society’s club /city’s facilities or meet & discuss with local artisans. These experiences teach them that life’s greatest treasures are not found in stores, but in exploring, connection, effort, and curiosity.
By consistently modeling self-worth and genuine appreciation, you will guide your child to a place where their confidence is built on the strength of their character, not the label on their clothes.
We as adults will naturally need to model this too – by our own minimalism & simplicity behavior & actions too – as they are watching/observing us carefully & learning from us all the time.
SO WHAT TO DO NEXT?
The challenge is often in getting children to internalize these values. The following video offers great advice on how parents can practically teach children about money and spending habits, which is the foundation of tackling materialism.
HOW TO RAISE KIDS WHO AREN’T MATERIALISTIC – VIDEOs :
See below. These video’s provide so actionable steps/thoughts for teaching children healthy attitudes toward money and possessions, which directly addresses the root cause of materialistic comparison.
You can watch the video here:
HERE’S A SHIFT IN PERSPECTIVE FOR GURGAON PARENTS
SO ALSO IN CHOOSING A SCHOOL FOR YOUR CHILD – AVOID SENDING YOUR CHILD TO A VERY, VERY EXPENSIVE SCHOOL – which only attracts the rich/elite crowd. Handling economic & social diversity in their peer group is an integral part of life skills & therefore education !
A rich only crowd school is most likely not good for developing your child – even if you can afford their high school fees.
Lets build their core strengths values first…once the foundations are well laid…maybe send them to an elite college later
AND CHOOSE A “UNIFORMS SCHOOL” – which has a policy of all children in same uniforms daily – not one which allows you too much freedom to wear fanciest branded clothes – as it’ll therefore spawn more comparisons daily /needlessly.
At the end, our goal isn’t to rear them into an elite child – comfortable only in a very elite environment . But instead It’s to raise resilient, resourceful, and curious human beings who are excited to learn for a lifetime, including from each other and are comfortable in diverse groups – and thus ready to adapt to a fast changing/evolving future.
So let’s pause and consider all of this – for the long term good of your child – in a fast changing & evolving world.
WE SUGGEST – CHOOSE A MID MARKET GOOD NEIGHBORHOOD SCHOOL WITH A DIVERSE CROWD & GOOD CULTURE , VALUES – AND NO SCREENS BASED EDUCATION TILL MIDDLE SCHOOL – SO YOUR CHILD HAS TIME FOR DEVELOPING THE RIGHT LIFE SKILLS & BEHAVIOUR – SO IMPORTANT FOR SUCCESS IN LIFE
Choosing a mid-market neighborhood school isn’t about compromising on quality. Many of these schools are equipped with excellent teachers, modern facilities, and a curriculum that rivals their ‘fancier’ counterparts. What they offer, because they may be even smaller campuses – that the others can’t, is the gift of time – as you & your your child don’t waste precious hours daily to reach that fancy distant school.
Such schools usually end up providing greater focus on each child – as there are fewer children on campus.
By choosing a school close to home, you’re not just saving your child from the stress and fatigue of a long daily commute. You’re giving them the gift of a childhood filled with play, exploration, and connection.
Also we recommend that stay away from a school – with significant mis match of culture with your own desirable values/ideals.
Engage with teachers, other parents with children in that school and try to ask/look out for these aspects – during the walk through – when assessing a school.
And most of all do not get carried away by the fancy/glitzy BIG infrastructure. We just need a good nearby school with good teachers & culture – not a big factory like chain of schools.
YOUR THOUGHTS ON THIS?
Do share your insights in the comments below!
We hope this helps you, dear parent!
Meanwhile enjoy developing your child at a good neighborhood school, home and outdoors
There are some great parks/green spots/sports fields near at as well near our school campuses – consider locating a suitable one in your neighborhood, for encouraging physical activity – the seeds of any sports – near say:
- SouthCity1
- Sector31
- Sector40
- Sushant Lok
- Sector72
- Sector70
- Sectot71
- Sector48
- Badshahpur corridor*
- Leisure Valley
(*) which is right next to the Sixth Element – Tata Primanti campus – and the trees there near our school’s north/east boundary – help filter our school campus air too.
why – the Sixth Element?
Very simply, the Sixth Element was a phrase coined by the school founders 20 years back, to illustrate igniting the joy of learning – so important for children’s development – as we nurture, and get them ready for the future.
How to Foster a Well-Rounded Child?
While there is lots of operating structure and detailed SOPs in school’s daily /weekly/monthly/annual – schedules – “how” the same is executed is unique – i.e., the Sixth element way of incorporating co-curricular & scientific & artistic activities, project work etc – leading to children enjoy learning & look forward to coming to school each day (and interestingly they do miss school on holidays 😊 ! )
Some examples of what’s done on instilling values & character building:
- Instill values: Understanding differences between right or wrong, is discussed in its many facets often. As also discussing environmental issues, volunteering for community activities, clean-ups, and respecting all living beings.
- Values as a Compass: Values are the moral principles that guide our actions. The Cambridge International Curriculum, with its emphasis on global citizenship and community service, fosters values like respect, empathy, and responsibility
- Embrace sustainability: Reduce waste, conserve energy, and grow your own food together. Encouraging minimalism (BTW we are a uniform school), upcycling, gardening, and exploring green technologies like rain water harvesting, recycling, etc
- Building Confidence: The curriculum’s focus on individual & team achievement (over experiential projects in small groups) and overcoming difficulties – and making progress, encouraged by the teacher helps build self-esteem. By setting and achieving goals, students develop a strong sense of confidence and resilience
- Life Skills for Real World: The curriculum’s focus on independent learning, critical thinking, and problem-solving equips students with essential life skills. These skills are invaluable in navigating challenges and opportunities- building confidence.
THE SIXTH ELEMENT’s commitment to sustainability?
At the Sixth Element, we believe that education should go beyond classrooms. Our green airy, spacious campuses are a living laboratory, where children learn experientially about sustainable practices. From solar panels to rainwater harvesting, recycling & near no plastics usage.
Our curriculum integrates sustainability into every subject, fostering a deep appreciation for nature, science, commerce & the arts – while instilling a desire to protect our planet.
By igniting the joy of learning, nurturing curiosity, confidence, values, and environmental consciousness – we empower children to become not only successful individuals, but equally responsible members of society and global citizens.
Does a unique International Curriculum School like the Sixth Element help?
A progressive wholistic school following Cambridge International Curriculum significantly contributes by lots of experiential learning and project-based work.
The Sixth Element School: Where Cambridge International meets India- in an exclusive, low density, impactful format
Reason why we chose Cambridge International curriculum is because the blend of teacher directed as well as learner self-driven learning & research seems to be relevant for aspirational kids from Indian families, keen on preparing their kids to be global citizens of the future – weather based in India or overseas.
Is the Sixth Element School duly registered with Cambridge International?
Yes, The Sixth Element School – is duly registered as one of over 10,000 schools globally – as a Cambridge International school with a global registration number IA 892
Keen to see what a unique school like The Sixth Element School offers? Schedule a visit and see for yourself why it could be the perfect launchpad for your child’s bright, global future!
We started the first sixth element school 21 years back in 2004 @ Gurgaon.
Our schools & afternoon extended school & afternoon ‘activities enriched’ daycare centers are unique, exclusive compact neighbourhood green campuses – where a lot of outdoor activities & experiential learning (physical – not digital) takes place with children on most days.
Our unique Smaller campus – with only 2 sections per each class grade – and very limited children on campus, allow us to focus on each child’s growth & development properly.
We are proud of our high quality, committed teachers – the very backbone of any good learning environment.
We raise well-rounded future ready individuals who are prepared to face the challenges of the world with confidence and integrity – with the right methods and practices. As an example – our foundational fitness program delivered in partnership with xfit kids , our gym, our green playgrounds and great coaches – give a great foundational fitness and start to our school kids.
A good understanding and partnership between parents and schools is key to nurturing the future leaders of gurugram, our great nation and our planet.
THE SIXTH ELEMENT SCHOOL WE BELIEVE IN THE IMPORTANCE OF CATALYSING & ENSURING “THE SIXTH ELEMENT – i.e. THE JOY OF LEARNING ” FOR EVERY CHILD. OUR CURRICULAM IS BENCHMARKED WITH THE BEST INTERNATIONALLY, WHILE DRAWING FROM OUR VERY OWN CORE ANCIENT INDIAN BEST PRACTICES SUCH AS THE GURU SHISHYA PARAMPARA) & VALUES. THANKS TO ITS 20+ YEARS EXPERIENCE AND ITS CORE CHILD DEVELOPMENT PRACTICES DRAWN FROM PIAGET, VYGOSTKY AND BRUNER – WHICH IS INCIDENTALLY THE RESOURCE POOL – FOR THE FOUNDATIONAL YEARS SCHOOL CURRICULUM OF THE UPGRADED NEW EDUCATION (NEP) UNDER ROLL OUT IN INDIA NOW.
So in line with some of India’s top and globally the very best : we are now a unique 100% Cambridge International School.
www.sixthelment.edu.in
the Sixth Element School
the school children love
SOUTH CITY 1. TATA PRIMANTI (sector 72)
85272-74695 or 97736-32626
since 2004(20 years)
Limited enrollment available in pre-NURSERY, NURSERY, KG & DAYCARE, grade 1 now – in our prenursery to K12 school programs.
@ Gurgaon’s only single section “exclusive” boutique VENTILATED, AIRY, SPACIOUS. GREEN SCHOOL CAMPUSES
