THE PARENT PARADOX?
If you’re raising a young child in a dynamic, high-achieving aspirational city like Gurgaon, you know the pressures well.
So we meticulously research & choose amongst the best schools, as well as sign them up for enrichment classes (robotics, anyone?): and often step in quickly to smooth out any small obstacle.
Our deepest wish is to see them succeed effortlessly.
But what if, in our haste to clear their path, we inadvertently rob them of the most critical life skill of all: the ability to overcome struggles and bounce back?
This is the ‘Joy of Struggle’ the profound, often messy, sometimes muddy – learning that happens when a child faces a difficulty, finds ‘their own’ solution , and emerges stronger.
Overcoming difficulties isn’t an aberration; its core to their learning and development curve.
🧱 LIFE SKILLS ARE BUILT ON BUMPS, NOT SMOOTH ROADS
We often think of life skills as tasks—tying shoelaces, packing a bag, or even coding.
But the foundational life skill is resilience, and it cannot be taught through a textbook or a class; it must be learnt by experience.
So for a child, a “struggle” isn’t always a massive setback.
IT CAN BE:
The Tower That Keeps Falling: (Toddler/Pre-Primary) Trying to stack blocks only to have them crash, again and yet again.
The Unsolvable Puzzle: (Pre-Primary/KG) Getting frustrated – because two pieces don’t fit instantly.
The Unfair Loss: (Primary Grades) Losing a game of Ludo or a school competition and dealing with the sting of disappointment.
The Impulse to ‘Fix’ vs. The Power to ‘Watch’
The moment your child’s brow furrows, our Parental Fix-It Instinct kicks in: we instinctively reach out: “Here, let me do that,” or say “Just put this piece here.”
This is where we need to pause. When you immediately solve the problem for them, you inadvertently send an unconscious message: “I don’t think you can handle this.”
Instead when you resist the urge to intervene and simply offer supportive presence (“That looks tricky…. what have you tried so far?”), you send a much stronger, empowering message: “I trust you to figure this out.”
🌱 HOW STRUGGLE FUELS DEVELOPMENT (THE SCIENCE)
The developmental curve isn’t a straight line; it’s a series of successful ascents after failed attempts. Overcoming difficulties actually wires your child’s brain – for long term success – a core future skill:
Executive Functioning: Struggling with a puzzle or a school task forces them to plan, strategize, and inhibit the urge to give up—core components of executive function. An advanced future skill.
Emotional Regulation: Dealing with the frustration of ‘not getting it right’, teaches them to label and manage uncomfortable emotions like anger or disappointment.
This is a bedrock of emotional intelligence.
Self-Efficacy: When they finally succeed after a genuine struggle, the feeling is exponentially more powerful. They learn, “I am capable of learning difficult things.”
This belief is self-efficacy – it’s the fuel for lifelong success.
CHOOSING THE RIGHT SCHOOL: LOOKING BEYOND COMFORTS
In Gurgaon, the options for schooling can be overwhelming, often distinguished by how much comfort they promise—fully air-conditioned campuses, perfectly manicured turf, seamless digital integration.
While comfort has its place, it’s worth asking: Is this environment preparing my child for the real world?
The Critical Question for Choosing Schools – and admitting your child!
When choosing/shortlisting schools, look for evidence that they value the right development process over visible perfection.
Thus, a school that embraces the ‘Joy of Struggle’ will demonstrate it not just in its curriculum, but in its very culture, infrastructure and philosophy. Sustainability, simplicity & doing more with less – are core skills that they all need in any Era – certainly in the future:
The Physical Environment: Does the school allow for natural, messy play? Are there outdoor areas where children might get to play with earth & water, feel the sun’s natural rays & heat (and learn to manage it); or in other words – opportunity to interact with a less-than-perfect environment? Has a diverse mixed crowd, rather than attracting children from just elite families ?
A campus that is too climate-controlled and sterile can limit the natural opportunities for solving immediate, physical problems (like finding shade or dealing with a dusty hand).
The Learning Approach: Do teachers jump in immediately to correct an error, or do they use Socratic questioning (“What do you think will happen if you try it this or that way?”) to guide the child toward self-correction?
The best schools don’t make learning easy; they make struggle, dialogue, reflection, questioning, and learning the real “why” – productive and important endeavors.
They create some safe spaces for your child to make errors & experiment, encounter manageable difficulties, ensuring that their developmental curve is: rich with learning, not just comfort.
THIS IS TRUE EXPERIENTIAL LEARNING!
SO ANY ACTIONABLE STEPS: EMBRACING THE STRUGGLE AT HOME
As busy parents in Gurgaon, how do we practically enable this ‘Joy of Struggle’ without abandoning or dismaying our children?
Use the ‘70% Rule’: Only help them when they are genuinely stuck at up to the 70% mark of their effort. If they’ve tried two methods, let them try a third before you step in.
Example – if a child has fallen – and is not obviously majorly hurt – don’t rush in – encourage your child to get up on his/her own ….do the same visibly yourself as an example – and expect the same from others/them .…..thereby enabling them to strengthen both physically & emotionally.
Change Your Language: Praise Effort, Not Perfection: Instead of: “Wow, what a perfect drawing!” Try: “I love how hard you kept working on those tricky lines!”
Normalize Mistakes: Share your own small, non-critical struggles! “Oops, Papa put too much salt in the rice again! Time to figure out how to fix it.” When children see that mistakes are normal and fixable, they lose their fear of trying.
Create ‘Productive Discomfort Zones’: Give them age-appropriate responsibilities that require effort: setting the table (and dealing with dropping a fork) or organizing their own toys/almirah’s or study desk.
THE TAKEAWAY
The next time your young child hits a wall, resist the urge to build a ramp over it.
Instead, hand them a small, metaphorical pickaxe/tool, to try & break or skirt the wall themselves.
Their learning and development curve isn’t defined by the things they master easily, but by the walls they somehow courageously climb—or, better yet, tunnel through, or pass around —all by themselves.
That is true joy, and the most lasting gift, of the struggle.
We as adults will naturally need to model this too – by our own behavior & actions too – as they are watching/observing us carefully & learning from us all the time.
At the end, our goal isn’t to rear them in an elite comfortable only elite environment. But instead to raise resilient, resourceful, and curious human beings who are excited to learn for a lifetime, including from each other and in overcoming problems and are comfortable in diverse groups – and thus ready to adapt to a fast changing/evolving future.
So let’s pause and consider all of this – for the long term good of our children – in a fast changing & evolving world.
WE SUGGEST – CHOOSE A MID MARKET GOOD NEIGHBOURHOOD SCHOOL WITH A DIVERSE CROWD & GOOD CULTURE , VALUES – AND NO SCREENS BASED EDUCATION TILL MIDDLE SCHOOL – SO YOUR CHILD HAS TIME FOR DEVELOPING THE RIGHT LIFE SKILLS & BEHAVIOUR – SO IMPORTANT FOR SUCCESS IN LIFE
Choosing a mid-market neighbourhood school isn’t about compromising on quality. Many of these schools are equipped with excellent teachers, modern facilities, and a curriculum that rivals their ‘fancier’ counterparts. What they offer, because they may be even smaller campuses – that the others can’t, is the gift of time – as you & your your child don’t waste precious hours daily to reach that fancy distant school.
Such schools usually end up providing greater focus on each child – as there are fewer children on campus.
By choosing a school close to home, you’re not just saving your child from the stress and fatigue of a long daily commute. You’re giving them the gift of a childhood filled with play, exploration, and connection.
Finally we recommend that stay away from a school with significant mis match of culture with your own desirable values/ideals.
Engage with teachers, other parents with children in that school and try to ask/look out for these aspects – during the walk through – when assessing a school.
And most of all do not get carried away by the fancy/glitzy BIG infrastructure. We just need a good nearby school with good teachers & culture – not a big factory like school with thousands of children.
YOUR THOUGHTS ON THIS?
Do share your insights in the comments below!
We hope this helps you, dear parent!
Meanwhile enjoy developing your child at a good neighborhood school, home and outdoors
There are some great parks/green spots/sports fields near at as well near our school campuses – consider locating a suitable one in your neighborhood, for encouraging physical activity – the seeds of any sports – near say:
- SouthCity1
- Sector31
- Sector40
- Sushant Lok
- Sector72
- Sector70
- Sectot71
- Sector48
- Badshahpur corridor*
- Leisure Valley
(*) which is right next to the Sixth Element – Tata Primanti campus – and the trees there near our school’s north/east boundary – help filter our school campus air too.
why – the Sixth Element?
Very simply, the Sixth Element was a phrase coined by the school founders 20 years back, to illustrate igniting the joy of learning – so important for children’s development – as we nurture, and get them ready for the future.
How to Foster a Well-Rounded Child?
While there is lots of operating structure and detailed SOPs in school’s daily /weekly/monthly/annual – schedules – “how” the same is executed is unique – i.e., the Sixth element way of incorporating co-curricular & scientific & artistic activities, project work etc – leading to children enjoy learning & look forward to coming to school each day (and interestingly they do miss school on holidays 😊 ! )
Some examples of what’s done on instilling values & character building:
- Instill values: Understanding differences between right or wrong, is discussed in its many facets often. As also discussing environmental issues, volunteering for community activities, clean-ups, and respecting all living beings.
- Values as a Compass: Values are the moral principles that guide our actions. The Cambridge International Curriculum, with its emphasis on global citizenship and community service, fosters values like respect, empathy, and responsibility.
- Embrace sustainability: Reduce waste, conserve energy, and grow your own food together. Encouraging minimalism (BTW we are a uniform school), upcycling, gardening, and exploring green technologies like rain water harvesting, recycling, etc.
- Building Confidence: The curriculum’s focus on individual & team achievement (over experiential projects in small groups) and overcoming difficulties – and making progress, encouraged by the teacher helps build self-esteem. By setting and achieving goals, students develop a strong sense of confidence and resilience
- Life Skills for Real World: The curriculum’s focus on independent learning, critical thinking, and problem-solving equips students with essential life skills. These skills are invaluable in navigating challenges and opportunities- building confidence.
THE SIXTH ELEMENT’s commitment to sustainability?
At the Sixth Element, we believe that education should go beyond classrooms. Our green airy, spacious campuses are a living laboratory, where children learn experimentally about sustainable practices. From solar panels to rainwater harvesting, recycling & near no plastics usage.
Our curriculum integrates sustainability into every subject, fostering a deep appreciation for nature, science, commerce & the arts – while instilling a desire to protect our planet.
By igniting the joy of learning, nurturing curiosity, confidence, values, and environmental consciousness – we empower children to become not only successful individuals, but equally responsible members of society and global citizens.
Does a unique International Curriculum School like the Sixth Element help?
A progressive holistic school following Cambridge International Curriculum significantly contributes by lots of experiential learning and project-based work.
The Sixth Element School: Where Cambridge International meets India- in an exclusive, low density, impactful format
Reason why we chose Cambridge International curriculum is because the blend of teacher directed as well as learner self-driven learning & research seems to be relevant for aspirational kids from Indian families, keen on preparing their kids to be global citizens of the future – weather based in India or overseas.
Is the Sixth Element School duly registered with Cambridge International?
Yes, The Sixth Element School – is duly registered as one of over 10,000 schools globally – as a Cambridge International school with a global registration number IA 892
Keen to see what a unique school like The Sixth Element School offers? Schedule a visit and see for yourself why it could be the perfect launchpad for your child’s bright, global future!
We started the first sixth element school 21 years back in 2004 @ Gurgaon.
Our schools & afternoon extended school & afternoon ‘activities enriched’ daycare centers are unique, exclusive compact neighborhood green campuses – where a lot of outdoor activities & experiential learning (physical – not digital) takes place with children on most days.
Our unique Smaller campus – with only 2 sections per each class grade – and very limited children on campus, allow us to focus on each child’s growth & development properly.
We are proud of our high quality, committed teachers – the very backbone of any good learning environment.
We raise well-rounded future ready individuals who are prepared to face the challenges of the world with confidence and integrity – with the right methods and practices. As an example – our foundational fitness program delivered in partnership with xfit kids , our gym, our green playgrounds and great coaches – give a great foundational fitness and start to our school kids.
A good understanding and partnership between parents and schools is key to nurturing the future leaders of Gurugram, our great nation and our planet.
THE SIXTH ELEMENT SCHOOL WE BELIEVE IN THE IMPORTANCE OF CATALYSING & ENSURING “THE SIXTH ELEMENT – i.e. THE JOY OF LEARNING ” FOR EVERY CHILD. OUR CURRICULAM IS BENCHMARKED WITH THE BEST INTERNATIONALLY, WHILE DRAWING FROM OUR VERY OWN CORE ANCIENT INDIAN BEST PRACTICES SUCH AS THE GURU SHISHYA PARAMPARA) & VALUES. THANKS TO ITS 20+ YEARS EXPERIENCE AND ITS CORE CHILD DEVELOPMENT PRACTICES DRAWN FROM PIAGET, VYGOSTKY AND BRUNER – WHICH IS INCIDENTALLY THE RESOURCE POOL – FOR THE FOUNDATIONAL YEARS SCHOOL CURRICULUM OF THE UPGRADED NEW EDUCATION (NEP) UNDER ROLL OUT IN INDIA NOW.
So in line with some of India’s top and globally the very best : we are now a unique 100% Cambridge International School.
www.sixthelment.edu.in
the Sixth Element School
the school children love
SOUTH CITY 1. TATA PRIMANTI (sector 72)
85272-74695 or 97736-32626
since 2004(20 years)
Limited enrollment available in pre-NURSERY, NURSERY, KG & DAYCARE, grade 1 now – in our prenursery to K12 school programs.
@ Gurgaon’s only single section “exclusive” boutique VENTILATED, AIRY, SPACIOUS. GREEN SCHOOL CAMPUSES
