As parents, we are naturally programmed to look for tangible/measurable milestones.
We celebrate their first step, the first clear word, the first time they write their name, and eventually, the A on the spelling test.
We often view academics as the vehicle for success, and behaviour simply as the set of traffic rules—”sit still,” “don’t interrupt,” and “listen to the teacher”—that keeps the car on the road.
BUT WHAT IF WE HAVE IT BACKWARD?
What if behaviour isn’t just about compliance? What if the ability to manage oneself is not just a rule to follow, but the engine that powers the car?
For children, including during early childhood, primary & all school grades, behaviour is not about “being good.” It is about an Executive Function—the mental processes that enable us to plan, focus attention, remember instructions, engage effectively with others and juggle multiple tasks.
1. BEHAVIOR IS A SKILL, NOT A PERSONALITY TRAIT
We often fall into the trap of labeling children. “He’s the wild one,” or “She’s the quiet, good one.”
This is dangerous because it treats behaviour as fixed. In reality, behaviour is a skill set, just like mathematics or reading. When a child throws a tantrum because they can’t have a cookie, or hits a friend who took their toy, they aren’t being “bad”—they are lacking a specific skill: emotional regulation or impulse control.
The Thought Shift: If a child doesn’t know how to read, we teach them. If a child doesn’t know how to behave, we sometimes/often punish them. To raise successful humans, we must start viewing “behaviour” as a key subject to be taught, coached, and practiced.
2. THE “SOFT SKILLS” ARE ACTUALLY THE HARDEST SKILLS
In the modern workforce and in life, raw intelligence (IQ) is rarely the sole predictor of success.
And we all know a few brilliant people who cannot hold down a job or maintain a relationship. Why? Because they lack the behavioural foundation.
Behavioural skills in early childhood & school predict adult/success outcomes more accurately than early reading/academic scores.
Research on this – is repeatedly – endorsing this – as an important aspect to reflect on by us all parents and educators.
Some behaviour skills include:
- Resilience: How do I react when I fail? (Do I crumble, or do I try a new strategy?)
- Empathy: Can I read the room? Can I work in a team?
- Delayed Gratification: Can I do the hard work now for a reward later?
If a child cannot sit through the discomfort of a difficult math problem (behaviour/resilience), they will never learn the math (academics).
So Behaviour is also the gatekeeper to learning.
Especially in our fast-evolving AI world
3. MOVING FROM “COMPLIANCE” TO “SELF-REGULATION”
Old-school parenting and education focused on Compliance: Doing what you are told because an authority figure is watching. True success requires Self-Regulation: Doing what is right and productive because you can manage your own impulses, even when no one is watching.
Compliance creates followers. Self-regulation creates leaders.
SO HOW CAN PARENTS CAN FLIP THE SCRIPT?
How do we teach this?
It’s harder than teaching the ABCs, but the rewards are infinite.
- Co-Regulate, Don’t Just Correct: Young children’s brains are still under construction. They literally cannot calm themselves down from a high-stress state alone. They need you to lend them your calm. Instead of sending them away (“Go to your room until you’re calm”), try bringing them close (“I can see you are furious. I am going to sit here with you until your body feels steady again.”)
- Narrate the Struggle: Help them connect their feelings to their actions. “I see you really wanted that blue cup, and you felt angry when you got the red one. It’s okay to be angry, but we don’t throw cups.”
- Praise the Process, Not the Person: Instead of “You are such a good boy,” try “I noticed how you waited your turn even though you really wanted to go first. That showed great patience.”
- The social group is important : the social group you as a family usually engage with is a key influence. The culture of the school you send your child too, is super important ….and your role model as a parent is equally too.
When we obsess over grades at age 6 or 7 or even in earlier/later classes, we are focusing on the furniture of the house.
When we focus on behaviour —kindness, focus, emotional control, and resilience—we are building the core foundation.
If the foundation is strong, you can build a skyscraper on it.
So next time you ask your child, “What did you learn in school today?” consider also asking: “What was a hard feeling you had today, and how did you handle it?”
We as adults will naturally need to model this too – by our own behavior & actions too – as they are watching/observing us carefully & learning from us all the time.
At the end, our goal isn’t to rear them in an elite comfortable only elite environment. But instead to raise resilient, resourceful, and curious human beings who are excited to learn for a lifetime, including from each other and in overcoming problems and are comfortable in diverse groups – and thus ready to adapt to a fast changing/evolving future.
So let’s pause and consider all of this – for the long term good of our children – in a fast changing & evolving world.
WE SUGGEST – CHOOSE A MID MARKET GOOD NEIGHBOURHOOD & GOOD CULTURE SCHOOL WITH A DIVERSE CROWD & GOOD CULTURE , VALUES – AND NO SCREENS BASED EDUCATION TILL MIDDLE SCHOOL – SO YOUR CHILD HAS TIME FOR DEVELOPING THE RIGHT LIFE SKILLS & BEHAVIOUR – SO IMPORTANT FOR SUCCESS IN LIFE
Choosing a mid-market neighborhood school isn’t about compromising on quality. Many of these schools are equipped with excellent teachers, modern facilities, and a curriculum that rivals their ‘fancier’ counterparts. What they offer, because they may be even smaller campuses – that the others can’t, is the gift of time – as you & your your child don’t waste precious hours daily to reach that fancy distant school.
Such schools usually end up providing greater focus on each child – as there are fewer children on campus.
By choosing a good culture school close to home, you’re not just saving your child from the stress and fatigue of a long daily commute. You’re giving them the gift of a childhood filled with play, exploration, and connection -in a positive environment .
we strongly recommend that stay away from a school with significant mis-match of culture with your own desirable values/ideals.
Engage with teachers, other parents with children in that school and try to ask/look out for these aspects – during the walk through – when assessing a school.
And most of all do not get carried away by the fancy/glitzy BIG infrastructure. We essentially need a good nearby school with good teachers & culture – not a big factory like school with thousands of children.
THOUGHTS?
Do share your insights in the comments below!
we really hope this helps, dear parent!
There are incidentally some great parks/green spots/sports fields near at as well near our school campuses – consider locating a suitable one in your neighborhood, for encouraging physical activity – the seeds of any sports – near say:
- SouthCity1
- Sector31t
- Sector40
- Sushant Lok
- Sector72
- Sector70
- Sectot71
- Sector48
- Badshahpur corridor*
- Leisure Valley
(*) which is right next to the Sixth Element – Tata Primanti campus – and the trees there near our school’s north/east boundary – help filter our school campus air too.
why – the Sixth Element?
Very simply, the Sixth Element was a phrase coined by the school founders 21 years back, to illustrate inculcating the joy of learning – so important for children’s development – as we nurture, and get them ready for the future.
How to Foster a Well-Rounded Child?
While there is lots of operating structure and detailed SOPs in school’s daily /weekly/monthly/annual – schedules – “how” the same is executed is unique – i.e., the Sixth element way of incorporating co-curricular & scientific & artistic activities, project work etc – leading to children enjoy learning & look forward to coming to school each day (and interestingly they do miss school on holidays 😊 ! )
Some examples of what’s done on instilling values & character building:
- Instil values: Understanding differences between right or wrong, is discussed in its many facets often. As also discussing environmental issues, volunteering for community activities, clean-ups, and respecting all living beings.
- Values as a Compass: Values are the moral principles that guide our actions. The Cambridge International Curriculum, with its emphasis on global citizenship and community service, fosters values like respect, empathy, and responsibility
- Embrace sustainability: Reduce waste, conserve energy, and grow your own food together. Encouraging minimalism (BTW we are a uniform school), upcycling, gardening, and exploring green technologies like rain water harvesting, recycling, etc
- Building Confidence: The curriculum’s focus on individual & team achievement (over experiential projects in small groups) and overcoming difficulties – and making progress, encouraged by the teacher helps build self-esteem. By setting and achieving goals, students develop a strong sense of confidence and resilience
- Life Skills for Real World: The curriculum’s focus on independent learning, critical thinking, and problem-solving equips students with essential life skills. These skills are invaluable in navigating challenges and opportunities- building confidence.
THE SIXTH ELEMENT’s commitment to sustainability?
At the Sixth Element, we believe that education should go beyond classrooms. Our green airy, spacious campuses are a living laboratory, where children learn experientially about sustainable practices. From solar panels to rainwater harvesting, recycling & near no plastics usage.
Our curriculum integrates sustainability into every subject, fostering a deep appreciation for nature, science, commerce & the arts – while instilling a desire to protect our planet.
By igniting the joy of learning, nurturing curiosity, confidence, values, and environmental consciousness – we empower children to become not only successful individuals, but equally responsible members of society and global citizens.
Does a unique International Curriculum School like the Sixth Element help?
A progressive holistic school following Cambridge International Curriculum significantly contributes by lots of experiential learning and project-based work.
The Sixth Element School: Where Cambridge International meets India- in an exclusive, low density, impactful format
Reason why we chose Cambridge International curriculum is because the blend of teacher directed as well as learner self-driven learning & research seems to be relevant for aspirational kids from Indian families, keen on preparing their kids to be global citizens of the future – weather based in India or overseas.
Is the Sixth Element School duly registered with Cambridge International?
Yes, The Sixth Element School – is duly registered as one of over 10,000 schools globally – as a Cambridge International school with a global registration number IA 892
Keen to see what a unique school like The Sixth Element School offers? Schedule a visit and see for yourself why it could be the perfect launchpad for your child’s bright, global future!
We started the first sixth element school 21 years back in 2004 @ Gurgaon.
Our schools & afternoon extended school & afternoon ‘activities enriched’ daycare centers are unique, exclusive compact neighborhood green campuses – where a lot of outdoor activities & experiential learning (physical – not digital) takes place with children on most days.
Our unique Smaller campus – with only 2 sections per each class grade – and very limited children on campus, allow us to focus on each child’s growth & development properly.
We are proud of our high quality, committed teachers – the very backbone of any good learning environment.
We raise well-rounded future ready individuals who are prepared to face the challenges of the world with confidence and integrity – with the right methods and practices. As an example – our foundational fitness program delivered in partnership with xfit kids , our gym, our green playgrounds and great coaches – give a great foundational fitness and start to our school kids.
A good understanding and partnership between parents and schools is key to nurturing the future leaders of Gurugram, our great nation and our planet.
THE SIXTH ELEMENT SCHOOL WE BELIEVE IN THE IMPORTANCE OF CATALYSING & ENSURING “THE SIXTH ELEMENT – i.e. THE JOY OF LEARNING ” FOR EVERY CHILD. OUR CURRICULAM IS BENCHMARKED WITH THE BEST INTERNATIONALLY, WHILE DRAWING FROM OUR VERY OWN CORE ANCIENT INDIAN BEST PRACTICES SUCH AS THE GURU SHISHYA PARAMPARA) & VALUES. THANKS TO ITS 21+ YEARS EXPERIENCE AND ITS CORE CHILD DEVELOPMENT PRACTICES DRAWN FROM PIAGET, VYGOSTKY AND BRUNER – WHICH IS INCIDENTALLY THE RESOURCE POOL – FOR THE FOUNDATIONAL YEARS SCHOOL CURRICULUM OF THE UPGRADED NEW EDUCATION (NEP) UNDER ROLL OUT IN INDIA NOW.
So in line with some of India’s top and globally some of the very best : we are now a unique 100% Cambridge International School.
www.sixthelment.edu.in
the Sixth Element School
the school children love
SOUTH CITY 1. TATA PRIMANTI (sector 72)
85272-74695 or 97736-32626
since 2004(20 years)
limited enrolment available in pre-NURSERY, NURSERY, KG & DAYCARE, grade 1 now – in our prenursery to K12 school programs.
@ Gurgaon’s only single section “exclusive” boutique VENTILATED, AIRY, SPACIOUS. GREEN SCHOOL CAMPUSES
