Ouch! When Little Teeth Go Rouge: Understanding and Managing Biting in Toddlers

As parents – we cherish those sweet, gummy smiles and tiny, innocent hands.

But then… chomp. Suddenly, our little angel has bitten another – and sometimes even left a ‘bite’ mark or just maybe drawn blood (oh dear!), and we’re left mortified at the playground or when we hear about the same from our child’s school – apologizing profusely to another parent whose child is now sporting a bite mark…or wondering why?

Oh..you’ve been there!?

Take a deep breath. You are not alone! Biting in toddlers is a surprisingly common, albeit unsettling, stage for many children. It’s rarely a sign of aggression or malice but rather a complex form of communication that our little ones haven’t quite mastered yet.

So, why do small kids sometimes bite other children?

Let’s dive into the common culprits:

The “Why” Behind the Bite: unpacking those little nips

1. Communication Breakdown (and Build-Up!): Imagine trying to express your biggest feelings with only a handful of words. For toddlers, biting can be a desperate attempt to communicate intense emotions like frustration, anger, excitement, or even happiness when they lack the verbal resources & skills to do so. “I want that toy NOW!” or “I’m so excited to see you!” can sometimes come out as a “bite”.

2. Overwhelming and Sensory Processing: A busy playdate, a noisy classroom, or even just too many exciting things happening at once can be overwhelming for a small child’s developing nervous system. When overloaded, biting can be a way to release that pent-up sensory input or to create space for themselves.

3. Teething Troubles: While not always the primary reason, discomfort from teething can make gums sensitive and lead to a general urge to bite down on anything to relieve the pressure. If you suspect teething, look for other signs like drooling and irritability.

4. Exploration and Cause and Effect: Believe it or not, some children bite out of pure curiosity. They’re exploring their world and discovering cause and effect (“If I bite, what happens?”). It’s not malicious – just a primitive form of scientific inquiry from a developing mind!

5. Seeking Attention (Even Negative Attention): Sometimes, a child learns that biting gets a swift and strong reaction from adults. While we never want to ignore a bite, if a child is feeling overlooked, even negative attention can feel like a win.

6. Lack of Impulse Control: Toddlers are still developing their executive functions, and impulse control is a big one. They might have an urge to bite and cannot simply stop themselves in the moment.

HOW SHOULD PARENTS DEAL WITH BITING?

Discovering your child bites – can be distressing, but with the above understanding of the “why” and a consistent and calm approach/gentle handling – you can & should guide them towards more appropriate behaviours.

1.) Immediate, Calm Intervention:

• Separate and Attend: Your priority is the child who was bitten. Offer comfort and first aid.

• Address Your Child Firmly (But Briefly): Turn to your child, get down to their eye level, and use a clear, firm voice. Say something like, “No biting. Biting hurts.” Avoid lengthy lectures or shaming.

• Remove from the Situation: Immediately move your child away from the situation or activity. A “time-out” (brief, quiet removal from stimulation) can be effective, but the goal is to break the cycle and provide a moment for calm, not punishment.

2. Focus on Feelings and Communication:

• Help Them Label Emotions: Once calm, talk about what happened. “Were you mad because Ram took your truck?” or “Were you too excited about Janani taking the slide?” Help them connect their feelings to their actions.

• Teach Alternative Behaviors: “When you’re mad, you can use your words instead dear: ‘No, stop!’ or ‘My turn!’ or “Let me try!” – teach them these lines to express in English or “better” in our very own Hindi/their mother tongue language.  You can guide them to possibly –  stomp your feet or ask for a hug.” Provide concrete alternatives to biting. Practice these alternatives with the child when everyone is calm 😊.

3. Preventative Strategies are Key:

• Supervise Closely: During play-dates or in group settings, especially with younger children, maintain close supervision. Anticipate situations that might trigger biting (e.g., competitive situations, sharing struggles, over-stimulation).

• Identify Triggers: Pay attention to when and where biting occurs. Is it when they’re tired? Hungry? In specific social situations? Knowing the triggers helps you intervene before a bite happens.

• Ensure Adequate Rest and Nutrition: An overtired or hungry child is more likely to lose control.

• Provide Teething Relief (If Applicable): Offer safe chew toys or cold teething rings if you suspect teething is a factor.

• Positive Reinforcement for Good Behavior: Catch your child being good! When they use their words, my turn, share, or manage frustration without biting, “praise them enthusiastically”. “excellent”, or I love how you used your words to tell your friend you wanted the toy!” use mother tongue preferably – and /or/ maybe reinforce in English if necessary.

4. Consistency is Crucial: Everyone who cares for the child (parents, grandparents, caregivers) needs to be on the same page with the approach to biting. “Inconsistency” can confuse children and prolong their behavior.

Don’t Take It Personally: It’s incredibly hard not to feel embarrassed, or like you’ve failed when your child bites. But remember, this is a developmental stage, and your child needs your calm guidance, not your shame.

Biting is a challenging phase, but it is a phase.

By understanding the underlying reasons and responding with patience, consistency, and straightforward, easy communication (preferably in their mother tongue – i.e., language – spoken usually at home), you can help your little one develop the vital social-emotional skills they need to navigate their world without using their teeth.

Hope you’ve got this, parents!

SO SHOULD A PARENT WHOSE CHILD HAS BITTEN ANOTHER IN PUBLIC PERHAPS GENTLY APOLOGISE TO THE OTHER PARENTS?

OR HOW SHOULD THEY HANDLE THE SITUATION??

Absolutely, yes. A gentle apology to the other parents is not just appropriate; it’s generally expected and highly appreciated.

..helps defuse tension, shows empathy, and demonstrates that you are a responsible parent who is taking the situation seriously.

Here’s how to handle the situation in public:

1. Prioritize the Bitten Child: Your immediate first response should be to the child who was bitten.

• Go to them: Immediately go to the child and check on them.

• Offer comfort: Acknowledge their pain and offer comfort. “Oh no, are you okay? That looks like it hurts.”

• Assess the injury: Gently check for any breaking of the skin, bleeding, or significant bruising. Offer to help with first aid if needed (e.g., a wet wipe and an ice pack if available).

2. Address Your Child Calmly and Firmly:

• Separate: Gently but firmly remove your child from the immediate vicinity of the other child.

• Clear, Simple Statement: Get down to their eye level and use a calm but firm voice. “No biting. Biting hurts.” – (use mother tongue language, please ). and avoid yelling, shaming, or long lectures at the moment. The goal is a quick, clear boundary.

• Brief Consequence (if appropriate): If your child is old enough to understand, a very short “time-out” (e.g., sitting on a bench next to you for a minute or two) can be effective in showing that biting leads to a temporary removal from the fun.

3. Apologize to the Other Parents (and Child):

• Sincere Apology: Turn to the other parent(s) and offer a genuine apology. Something like: “I am so incredibly sorry. I’m so sad, mortified this happened.”

• Acknowledge their child’s pain: “Is your child okay? I’m so very sorry they got hurt.”

• Brief explanation (optional and without excuses): You can briefly mention that you’re working on this behavior, but avoid making excuses. For example, “We’re working on gentle hands/using words. This is a tough phase, and I apologize.” This shows you’re aware and actively addressing it.

• Involve your child (if capable): If your child is old enough to understand, gently encourage them to say “sorry” to the other child. “Can you please tell [child’s name] you’re sorry you hurt them?” Don’t force it if they’re too upset or young, but modelling the apology can be a critical developmental opportunity for behavioral skills.

4. Follow Up:

• Continue to comfort the bitten child: Ensure they are okay and continue to offer comfort.

• Redirect your child: Once the immediate situation is handled, redirect your child to a different activity or area.

• Private conversation (if needed): If the bite was severe, or if you know the other parents well, you might likely follow up later to check on the child or discuss further. Stay humble & not defensive, please.

Why apologizing is so essential:

• Empathy: It shows you understand and care about the other child’s pain and the other parents’ concerns.

• De-escalation: A sincere apology can instantly de-escalate potential anger or frustration from the other parents.

• Responsibility: It demonstrates that you are taking responsibility for your child’s actions, even if they are developmental.

• Modelling: You are modelling appropriate behaviour for your child – taking responsibility and showing remorse when you cause harm, even unintentionally.

• Preserving relationships: Whether it’s a stranger at the park or a friend at a playdate, an apology helps maintain positive social interactions and relationships. No parent wants to feel like their child’s injury is being dismissed.

While biting is a developmental stage, how you handle it publicly reflects on you as a parent and can significantly impact how the situation is perceived by others.

A prompt, gentle apology goes a very long way.

HOW DO SCHOOLS/ EARLY CHILDHOOD CENTERS HANDLE SUCH SITUATIONS?

Most quality schools and early childhood /foundational development centers have well-defined policies and procedures for handling biting incidents, as it’s a common developmental behavior in toddlers.
Their approach is typically multi-faceted, focusing on safety, support, communication, and behavioral guidance.

Here’s a breakdown of how they generally handle such situations:

I. Immediate Response (Focus on Safety and Comfort):

1. Prioritize the Bitten Child: This is always the first step.

• Immediate Comfort and First Aid: Staff quickly attend to the bitten child, offering comfort, soothing them, and checking for injury.

• Wound Care: The bite mark is immediately cleaned with soap and water. If the skin is broken, staff follow universal precautions, apply antiseptic, and may cover it with a bandage. For more serious bites, they might apply ice to reduce swelling.

• Medical Attention (if necessary): If the bite is severe (e.g., deep wound, excessive bleeding, or if there’s concern about infection), parents are immediately contacted, and they may be advised to seek medical Attention.

2. Address the Biting Child:

• Intervene Calmly and Firmly: The child who bit is immediately separated from the other child. Staff get down to their eye level and use a calm but firm voice to state: “No biting. Biting hurts.” or “Biting is not allowed.”- usually communicated in the child’s mother tongue/language – always helps in easier & better communication

.

• Brief Consequence/Redirection: Depending on the child’s age and understanding, they might be briefly removed from the activity or given a short “thinking time” away from the group. The focus is on interrupting the behavior, not shaming.

• No Shaming or Labeling: Staff avoid calling the child a “biter” or using language that shames them. The focus is on the behavior, not the child’s character.

II. Communication with Parents:

1. Notification of Parents:

• Parents of the Bitten Child: These parents are notified as soon as possible, often with a phone call, especially if the skin is broken. They receive details of the incident and the first aid provided.

• Parents of the Biting Child: These parents are also notified promptly and privately.

• Confidentiality: Most centers have a strict policy of not disclosing the name of the child who bit to the parents of the bitten child, and vice versa.

• This protects the privacy of both families and prevents labeling.

2. Incident Reports:

• Detailed incident reports are filled out by the staff who witnessed the event – for internal reviews/instilling mitigation & development measures. These reports typically include:

• Date, time, and location of the incident.

• Names of children involved (kept confidential to other parents).

• Description of what happened leading up to the bite.

• How staff intervened.

• First aid was administered.

• Any observations about the child’s behavior before or after the bite (e.g., seemed frustrated, overtired).

• Signatures of staff and parents.

• Copies of these reports are often given to both sets of parents and kept on file at the center. Sometimes, these are brought up by the teacher in the parent-teacher meetings – to develop mutual remedial actions.

III. Behavioral Guidance and Prevention:

1. Observation and Identification of Triggers:

• Teachers closely observe the child who bit to identify patterns or triggers. This might involve noting when (time of day), where (location in the classroom), and under what circumstances (e.g., during transitions, when tired, over specific toys) biting occurs.

2. Teaching Alternative Behaviors:

• Staff actively teach the child appropriate ways to express their needs and feelings. This includes:

• Using words: “Use your words, say ‘My turn!'” or “Tell your friend, ‘No, I don’t like that!'”

• Asking for help.

• Finding an adult.

• Developing strategies for managing big emotions (e.g., deep breaths, finding a quiet space, asking for a comfort item).

• They might use social stories, puppets, or role-playing to practice these skills. Mother tongue/language is preferably used – for improved effectiveness/outcomes.

3. Environmental Modifications:

• Centers may adjust the environment to reduce potential triggers. This could include:

• Ensuring enough duplicate toys to minimize conflict

• Creating quiet spaces for children to de-escalate.

• Adjusting schedules to reduce over-tiredness or over-stimulation.

• Increasing staff supervision in areas where biting is common.

4. Partnership with Parents:

• Centers emphasize a collaborative approach with parents. They share strategies used at school and encourage parents to implement consistent responses at home.

• For persistent biting, centers may schedule parent conferences to discuss the child’s behavior and potential underlying causes (e.g., teething, changes at home, developmental delays) and develop a joint behavior plan.

5. Individualized Plans (for frequent biters):

• If a child bites frequently, the center will develop a more individualized behavior plan. This might involve:

• Increased “shadowing” or one-on-one attention from a staff member.

• Working with parents to explore professional support (e.g., occupational therapy for sensory issues, behavioral therapist).

• Clear guidelines regarding repeated incidents (some centres may have policies that, after a certain number of incidents and failed interventions, might lead to temporary suspension or, in rare and extreme cases, dis-enrollment, though this is usually a last resort after extensive attempts to work with the family).

6. Key Principles Guiding Schools:

• Developmentally Appropriate: They understand that biting is often a normal, albeit challenging, developmental stage, especially for toddlers who lack verbal skills and impulse control.

• Non-Punitive Approach: The focus is on teaching and guiding, not on shaming or excessive punishment, which can be counterproductive.

• Consistency: All staff are trained to respond consistently to biting incidents.

• Prevention: Proactive strategies to prevent biting are highly valued.

• Confidentiality: Protecting the privacy of all children and families involved is paramount.

By following these comprehensive approaches, Schools – especially their early childhood centres aim to create a safe learning environment while supporting children in developing essential social-emotional skills.

What are your thoughts, fellow parents? Have you ever seen a child biting or reflected on this matter?

Do share your experiences and insights in the comments below!

We hope this helps you, dear parent!

Meanwhile, enjoy developing your child at a good neighborhood school, home and outdoors.

There are some great parks/green spots/sports fields near at as well near our school campuses – consider locating a suitable one in your neighborhood, for encouraging physical activity – the seeds of any sports – near say:

• SouthCity1
• Sector31
• Sector40
• Sushant Lok
• Sector72
• Sector70
• Sectot71
• Sector48
• Badshahpur corridor*
• Leisure Valley

(*) which is right next to the Sixth Element – Tata Primanti campus – and the trees near our school’s north/east boundary – help filter our school campus air, too.

Why – the Sixth Element School?

The Sixth Element was a phrase coined by the school founders 20 years back to illustrate igniting the joy of learning – crucial for children’s development – as we nurture and prepare them for the future.

How to Foster a Well-Rounded Child?

While there is lots of operating structure and detailed SOPs in the school’s daily /weekly/monthly/annual – schedules – “how” the same is executed is unique – i.e., the Sixth element way of incorporating co-curricular & scientific & artistic activities, project work etc – leading to children enjoy learning & look forward to coming to school each day (and interestingly they do miss school on holidays 😊 ! )

Some examples of what’s done to instill values & character building:

• Instill values: Understanding differences between right and wrong is often discussed in its many facets. Discussing environmental issues, volunteering for community activities, clean-ups, and respecting all living beings.

• Values as a Compass: Values are the moral principles that guide our actions. The Cambridge International Curriculum emphasizes global citizenship and community service and fosters values like respect, empathy, and responsibility.

• Embrace sustainability: Reduce waste, conserve energy, and grow your food together. Encouraging minimalism (BTW, we are a uniform school), upcycling, gardening, and exploring green technologies like rainwater harvesting, recycling, etc.

• Building Confidence: The curriculum’s focus on individual & team achievement (over experiential projects in small groups) and overcoming difficulties – and making progress, encouraged by the teacher, helps build self-esteem. Students develop a strong sense of confidence and resilience by setting and achieving goals.

• Life Skills for Real World: The curriculum’s focus on independent learning, critical thinking, and problem-solving equips students with essential life skills. These skills are invaluable in navigating challenges and opportunities- building confidence.

THE SIXTH ELEMENT’ School’s commitment to sustainability?

At the Sixth Element, we believe that education should go beyond classrooms. Our green, airy, spacious campuses are a living laboratory where children learn experimentally about sustainable practices. From solar panels to rainwater harvesting, recycling & near no plastics usage.

Our curriculum integrates sustainability into every subject, fostering a deep appreciation for nature, science, commerce & the arts – while instilling a desire to protect our planet.

By igniting the joy of learning and nurturing curiosity, confidence, values, and environmental consciousness – we empower children to become successful individuals and equally responsible members of society and global citizens.

Does a unique International Curriculum School like the Sixth Element help?

A progressive holistic school following Cambridge International Curriculum significantly contributes to lots of experiential learning and project-based work.

The Sixth Element School: Where Cambridge International meets India- in an exclusive, low-density, impactful format.

The reason why we chose the Cambridge International curriculum is that the blend of teacher-directed as well as learner-self-driven learning & research seems to be relevant for aspirational kids from Indian families, keen on preparing their kids to be global citizens of the future – whether based in India or overseas.

Is the Sixth Element School duly registered with Cambridge International?

Yes, The Sixth Element School – is duly registered as one of over 10,000 schools globally – as a Cambridge International school with a global registration number IA 892

Keen to see what a unique school like The Sixth Element School offers? Schedule a visit and see why it could be the perfect launchpad for your child’s bright, global future!

We started the first sixth element school 20 years back in 2004 @ Gurgaon.

Our schools & afternoon extended school & afternoon’ activities enriched’ daycare centres are unique, exclusive, compact neighborhood green campuses – where many outdoor activities & experiential learning (physical – not digital) occur with children on most days.

Our unique Smaller campus – with only two sections per class grade – and minimal children on campus allow us to focus on each child’s growth & development properly.

We are proud of our high-quality, committed teachers – the backbone of any good learning environment.

We raise well-rounded future ready individuals who are prepared to face the challenges of the world with confidence and integrity – with the proper methods and practices.  For example, our foundational fitness program delivered in partnership with fit Kids, our gym, our green playgrounds and great coaches gives our school kids a great foundational fitness start.

A good understanding and partnership between parents and schools is key to nurturing the future leaders of gurugram, our great nation and planet.

THE SIXTH ELEMENT SCHOOL WE BELIEVE IN THE IMPORTANCE OF CATALYSING & ENSURING “THE SIXTH ELEMENT – i.e. THE JOY OF LEARNING ” FOR EVERY CHILD. OUR CURRICULUM IS  BENCHMARKED WITH THE BEST INTERNATIONALLY WHILE DRAWING FROM OUR  VERY OWN CORE ANCIENT INDIAN BEST PRACTICES SUCH AS THE GURU SHISHYA PARAMPARA) & VALUES. THANKS TO ITS 20+ YEARS OF EXPERIENCE AND ITS CORE CHILD DEVELOPMENT PRACTICES DRAWN FROM PIAGET, VYGOSTKY AND BRUNER  – WHICH IS INCIDENTALLY THE RESOURCE POOL – FOR THE FOUNDATIONAL YEARS SCHOOL CURRICULUM OF THE UPGRADED NEW EDUCATION (NEP) UNDER ROLLOUT IN INDIA NOW. 

So, in line with some of India’s top and the best globally, we are now a unique 100% Cambridge International School.

www.sixthelment.edu.in

the Sixth Element School

the schoolchildren love

SOUTH CITY 1. TATA PRIMANTI (sector 72)

85272-74695 or 97736-32626

since 2004(20 years)

Limited enrollment available in pre-NURSERY, NURSERY, KG & DAYCARE, grade 1 now – in our prenursery to K12 school programs.

@ Gurgaon’s only single-section “exclusive” boutique VENTILATED, AIRY, SPACIOUS. GREEN SCHOOL CAMPUSES